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What We See

Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "What We See - Chapter 32"
A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life

18 total reviews 
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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Fool me once, your fault, fool me twice mine. Warren was a rabbit hole waiting to spring the trap. His wife warned him and Tommy felt awkward with him as well. Plus he din't fall but took a beating for his losses being unpaid.,

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Nice analysis of the situation.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
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Hmph... Alan was correct to be weary of Warren, which is why he put various safeguards in place.

Warrens, fall and black eye to me seemed a bit suspicious. I'm wondering if whomever he owed money to have him a visit and added a little persuasion for repayment. Hence, the burglary...

Well written chapter Jim. Now let's see what the hidden camcorder has to show!

Cheers,
John

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thanks, John. Nice analysis of the situation.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
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Disaster indeed! Worst possible!
Well written, of course.
Warren could apply for a patent himself, but would have an extremely tough time with the video, as well as Tommy having a working pair of glasses. More likely, he would sell the whole thing to a major outfit with enough money to bankrupt Alan.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thanks very much, Wayne. Excellent analysis of the situation in regards to Warren's options.
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was the bombshell that had to explode sometime. It's a good thing Alan took all the precautions he did. Maybe something can be salvaged from the disaster.

I like the way you describe the continued support Alan is giving to Tommy

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thanks so much, Tony. I appreciate the 6 stars very much. I think Alan realized that limits on the glasses' use needed to be placed for Tommy, much like parents need to put limits on "screen time" today.
Comment from lancellot
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Well, the signs were clear, and people close Alan warned him. I do hate seeing him be a victim again, and again be so naive, even after everything he's been through and his age now. Being a nice person and good person are different things.

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    He did take precautions, but I don't think he anticipated physical removal of the hard drive, though perhaps he should have. This is still an evolution of his character, and he's not quite there yet.
Comment from Shanbreen
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I liked it. However, my personal feelings are that you need to be a bit more concise. For example, "I thanked him very much for his help, and we said goodbye." This seems to me (and I am not an authority on it) a bit of space filler.

Then again, "I hated to say it, but I think all of our suspicions about Warren were accurate. I'll know soon enough." I was a bit confused by this. First of all, who are you directing these lines? You are the narrator --- so what is "I think all our suspicion?" Shouldn't it be "so all of my suspicion?" Furthermore, you state that all your suspicions about Warren were accurate. But in the next line you state, "I'll know soon enough."

Jim, I hope I haven't offended you. If I did, I didn't meant to do that. Like I said, I like the story. I t has potential or it's quite likely, I have missed something or don't understand. If that is the case, I apologize.


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 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thanks for reading and reviewing this chapter. Absolutely no offense taken for your remarks. I always welcome criticism because it gets me to think and helps me to improve.

    "all our suspicions" was a reference to a previous chapter in which Ginnie, Abby, and Tommy all expressed reservations about Warren's character.

    Although he thought strongly that their suspicions were accurate, there is still a possibility that he's misinterpreting the signs. He, himself, fell victim to this earlier in the story, and he doesn't want to blame Warren prematurely without first seeing the video, which should show the exact situation. This is the theme of the story: misinterpreting what we see.
reply by Shanbreen on 16-Apr-2024
    Jim, I am sorry for not taking the Narrative part of the story into consideration. It threw me off because it is new for me. This probably is the first time I have seen a story told by a Narrator. I generally am an advocate of show and not tell. Just the same I it was a good learning lesson for me. Thank you.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
    No worries, but I'm not quite sure what you mean by a story told by a narrator. I'm not the narrator. Alan is telling the story in first person.

    When he said: I think all our suspicions..., he was referring to his and the others' suspicions about Warren as established in a previous chapter. He is voicing his thoughts here, which much of a first person tale does. I guess you could say that he's narrating his own story.

    Does that make more sense now?
reply by Shanbreen on 17-Apr-2024
    Yes. Thank you.
Comment from royowen
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One of the results of gambling is that it has classic symptoms, it creates criminals out of guys that would be otherwise OK. Some normally straight guys have actually embezzled money from their employers and finish up in jail, it genuinely a serious problem, it makes liars and crooks out of good men, you can't win. A good twist to your story, alcohol and drugs add to the problem, Beautifully written blessings Roy

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thanks, Roy. You're right; gambling is an addiction like alcohol and drugs that can be just as corrupting.
reply by royowen on 15-Apr-2024
    I was one of them,Jim
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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Oh dear! Alan put such trust in him but also took the various precautions to safeguard his property. His worst fear, however, has been realised and I sense that he's more than a little angry with himself for, perhaps, wanting to put more faith in Warren when the signs of instability were there. That said, Alan has learnt a lot from his own experience.
This is, as usual, a faultlessly written chapter with good pace and engaging story. A nice hook at the end to spike the reader's curiosity. Well done, Jim. Debbie

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 Comment Written 14-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
    Thanks so much, Debbie. Alan is perhaps a little thick when it comes to human nature. He wants to see the best in people, but he's been frequently disappointed. I think this is the last straw, though. No more "Mr. Nice Guy."