A Quiet Riot
Two women under the thumb of someone mad11 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I remember this part of your story, Lea, as of course I would because of your very vivid style of writing. You're completely in the zone and take your reader with you, right down to the smells of breakfast, the toilet flushing and the dreaded anticipation of Mr D. But this all needed a proper proofread, Lea, and was spoilt by careless errors, especially given it's a contest entry. I will raise the rating if you can give this another serious edit. Warm wishes Debbie
tall st(r)ands of grass?
products of our envir(o)nment
I'm glad you('re) here
g(au)ntlet
a certain keen ?
back of my neck (was) zinging
seconds ticked (past)
she again (waved) her hand downward
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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I remember this part of your story, Lea, as of course I would because of your very vivid style of writing. You're completely in the zone and take your reader with you, right down to the smells of breakfast, the toilet flushing and the dreaded anticipation of Mr D. But this all needed a proper proofread, Lea, and was spoilt by careless errors, especially given it's a contest entry. I will raise the rating if you can give this another serious edit. Warm wishes Debbie
tall st(r)ands of grass?
products of our envir(o)nment
I'm glad you('re) here
g(au)ntlet
a certain keen ?
back of my neck (was) zinging
seconds ticked (past)
she again (waved) her hand downward
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Hello Debbie. I went ahead and made some changes. Thank you for pointing these things out.I appreciate it! Appreciate your review and your time too. Thank you!
