Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Physician & Patient: Pt. 1"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
16 total reviews
Comment from drivenbackward
Yes, I little on the tell side, but it actually worked well. Sometimes telling works. This is one of those cases, in my opinion. I wasn't distracting or boring at all, and the reader got to know the characters better.
Cassius scrambled down the tree and joined her, -- Period. Not a speech tag.
Julia looked forlorn as she spoke to her father, -- "
Cassius seemed to have a way with her, -- "
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Yes, I little on the tell side, but it actually worked well. Sometimes telling works. This is one of those cases, in my opinion. I wasn't distracting or boring at all, and the reader got to know the characters better.
Cassius scrambled down the tree and joined her, -- Period. Not a speech tag.
Julia looked forlorn as she spoke to her father, -- "
Cassius seemed to have a way with her, -- "
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: I like your story and glad that I caught this on chapter one. In the Bible, the shepherds used olive oil and poured this on the head of the sheep. Botts flies would lay eggs in the nose and irritates the sheep. The oil smothered and killed the flies. The people also anointed with oils, like lavender, spearmint, lemongrass, etc for healing. Check out Doterra Oils and Young Living sites. These are ideas you can use for healing.
I like how Vi keeps flash backing, no one else knows. So much to say Michael. Good story! Flylikeaneagle
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Michael: I like your story and glad that I caught this on chapter one. In the Bible, the shepherds used olive oil and poured this on the head of the sheep. Botts flies would lay eggs in the nose and irritates the sheep. The oil smothered and killed the flies. The people also anointed with oils, like lavender, spearmint, lemongrass, etc for healing. Check out Doterra Oils and Young Living sites. These are ideas you can use for healing.
I like how Vi keeps flash backing, no one else knows. So much to say Michael. Good story! Flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from Nosha17
That was an excellent chapter, I like the premise of the soul returning to a different character in the story and being linked, interesting theory. It might even be like that in reality. Well narrated, characters are always magical and most enjoyable read. Faye
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That was an excellent chapter, I like the premise of the soul returning to a different character in the story and being linked, interesting theory. It might even be like that in reality. Well narrated, characters are always magical and most enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from Michaelk
So Julia is reliving her past life. How will she react when she sees Valerius? Will it all come rushing back? A very interesting choice to go this way with this story.
I don't think the 'tell' dragged too bad. It was necessary. I do see a possible burning at the stake in our future though. The villagers are already rumbling. I'ill be very curious to see how Valerius (where the hell did you come up with that name?) handles this.
I'd say great chapter, but after the last epic story, this feels like starting over on a sequel rather than another story in a series.
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So Julia is reliving her past life. How will she react when she sees Valerius? Will it all come rushing back? A very interesting choice to go this way with this story.
I don't think the 'tell' dragged too bad. It was necessary. I do see a possible burning at the stake in our future though. The villagers are already rumbling. I'ill be very curious to see how Valerius (where the hell did you come up with that name?) handles this.
I'd say great chapter, but after the last epic story, this feels like starting over on a sequel rather than another story in a series.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
Comment from CR Delport
Even in this day and age, anything different still gets frowned on. Back then, I can only imagine what it must have been for Julia. She didn't even understand, and nobody care to listen to her. Possessed by a demon was probably the easiest explanation. This is another well crafted chapter. It's not telling, it narrating :)
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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Even in this day and age, anything different still gets frowned on. Back then, I can only imagine what it must have been for Julia. She didn't even understand, and nobody care to listen to her. Possessed by a demon was probably the easiest explanation. This is another well crafted chapter. It's not telling, it narrating :)
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Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Oh good. I noticed that no one was talking but me for a loooong time. :) There was treatment back then. Some of it was even effective like music and exercise. But, yes, burn them at the stake was popular! mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Julia is interesting in this. Odd that she would have old memories, but it's a great premise for the tale.
>>Her brother Cassius especially was cajoled into play with her. He was but a year older.
You just said this a few paragraphs earlier... probably took a break and forgot. :)
>>It would be difficult to be around her and not find one's self smiling.
Spelled ONESELF, all one word.
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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Julia is interesting in this. Odd that she would have old memories, but it's a great premise for the tale.
>>Her brother Cassius especially was cajoled into play with her. He was but a year older.
You just said this a few paragraphs earlier... probably took a break and forgot. :)
>>It would be difficult to be around her and not find one's self smiling.
Spelled ONESELF, all one word.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2014
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Oh yeah. I found myself blathering and telling so I stopped and let somebody else speak. I did say that twice. Duh. I really went out of my way to complicate "oneself" I could have put, "One's very own self"... So strange what the brain gets stuck on. I hope this section starts rolling! I think it's clear in my little brain now. mikey
