Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Fugitive Hunt and a Seizure"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
15 total reviews
Comment from emrpoems
You do write very well and this is another great chapter.
Good use of narrative and dialogue. All interactions are natural and the story holds your interest throughout
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You do write very well and this is another great chapter.
Good use of narrative and dialogue. All interactions are natural and the story holds your interest throughout
Comment Written 07-Nov-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Mikey: Sorry, I'm being picky...coffee and bread...then you said coffee and tea. kiss...
I like that the priests are gathering. But, demons flee in the Name of Jesus, not killing them.
The boy came to the doctor in time or the priest would have stabbed him. Maybe, the priest Leopold can have a seizure???
Look up essential oils to help the doctor like peppermint, frankincense and orange will perk him up. Enjoy your story Michael. This is your 2 cents comments from me to you! Hope that you get published!
flylikeaneagle
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Mikey: Sorry, I'm being picky...coffee and bread...then you said coffee and tea. kiss...
I like that the priests are gathering. But, demons flee in the Name of Jesus, not killing them.
The boy came to the doctor in time or the priest would have stabbed him. Maybe, the priest Leopold can have a seizure???
Look up essential oils to help the doctor like peppermint, frankincense and orange will perk him up. Enjoy your story Michael. This is your 2 cents comments from me to you! Hope that you get published!
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 07-Nov-2014
Comment from Sankey
OOps mate have I missed a promotion? Good chapter not many carrots unfortunately. I do hope Leopold and Cervantes etc don't interfere too much.
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OOps mate have I missed a promotion? Good chapter not many carrots unfortunately. I do hope Leopold and Cervantes etc don't interfere too much.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2014
Comment from Michaelk
The plot thickens. Now we have a priest running around with his own little goon squad, running around after a family of farmers. Somebody needs to step up and kick Leo's ass. The priests that have any kind of common sense must be getting tired of him by now. This fit should prove interesting. Maybe Valerius can figure out how to help if it comes again. Great tension in this chapter. The underlying tension between priests is playing out really well.
Great chapter.
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The plot thickens. Now we have a priest running around with his own little goon squad, running around after a family of farmers. Somebody needs to step up and kick Leo's ass. The priests that have any kind of common sense must be getting tired of him by now. This fit should prove interesting. Maybe Valerius can figure out how to help if it comes again. Great tension in this chapter. The underlying tension between priests is playing out really well.
Great chapter.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
The stew is about to boil, friend. I love this story. The tension is mounting and the enemy is gaining power.
Only one thing, Mikey:
"I see, caution is the sensible thing in these matters. [you need either a period or semicolon after "see"; otherwise, it's a comma splice. A good source follows that explains the comma splice: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/]
It just keeps getting better and better.
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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2014
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The stew is about to boil, friend. I love this story. The tension is mounting and the enemy is gaining power.
Only one thing, Mikey:
"I see, caution is the sensible thing in these matters. [you need either a period or semicolon after "see"; otherwise, it's a comma splice. A good source follows that explains the comma splice: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/34/]
It just keeps getting better and better.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2014
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Let's see. I'm guessing that a comma splice is a comma that separates two complete sentences. So, it should either be two complete sentences or separated by a semi-colon. Right? I'll check the site out. I actually put on my "Jay" hat before I post and try to find everything I think you'll find before I hit "enter". :) It's working! Glad you are liking this. I am too. This is two pages long in the original story... mikey
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Your "Jay" hat. Now, that's funny, Mikey. I make every one of the the same mistakes as the people I review (and some not invented yet) in my first draft. If I didn't it would never get written. But I spend and INCREDIBLE amount of time on the edit phase. I suppose it transfers to my reviews. Thank you ... and a HUGE thanks for the reviewer nomination you gave me.
Jay
