A Naughty XMas Poem
With music!27 total reviews
Comment from Josipher32
Well, this one was definitely different. I was proud of Santa with this line: "Forget it, ho, Santa's married; he won't come inside."
But was disappointed when he succumbed to the temptation here: "I knew Santa had lost when his prick started throbbin'"
Not exactly my taste, but interesting take on the traditional "twas the night before Christmas" Gave a five star for originality
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Well, this one was definitely different. I was proud of Santa with this line: "Forget it, ho, Santa's married; he won't come inside."
But was disappointed when he succumbed to the temptation here: "I knew Santa had lost when his prick started throbbin'"
Not exactly my taste, but interesting take on the traditional "twas the night before Christmas" Gave a five star for originality
Comment Written 24-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
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Don't you remember me hon? We were friends back in the day on Fanstory back in 2006. Nice to see you're still writing.
- Kristen
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Yes, I do. It is very nice to hear from you again.
Comment from dragonpoet
Not the usual Christmas poem and not the usual saintly version of Santa. You do allude to the naught and nice list. I thouoght Santa did his Christmas Eve flight solo.
Is you humor in this poem saying committing adultery is something you should do on Christmas night. I don't think so. Though have marital relations could be a good choice that puts you on the good list for next Christmas.
Keep writing but cleaner next time (ha ha)
Merry Christmas.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Not the usual Christmas poem and not the usual saintly version of Santa. You do allude to the naught and nice list. I thouoght Santa did his Christmas Eve flight solo.
Is you humor in this poem saying committing adultery is something you should do on Christmas night. I don't think so. Though have marital relations could be a good choice that puts you on the good list for next Christmas.
Keep writing but cleaner next time (ha ha)
Merry Christmas.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 24-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
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You're very welcome.
Merry Christmas.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment from LIJ Red
There was an old movie with Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds--ah, just rambling.
The porn thing doesn't work for me like it did fifty years ago...but I see no problems with the rhymes and presentation here. Fivers.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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There was an old movie with Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds--ah, just rambling.
The porn thing doesn't work for me like it did fifty years ago...but I see no problems with the rhymes and presentation here. Fivers.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Lancellot, gosh this is some read. Yes, you are right in that adults need a bit of fun at Christmas time too. It's not the first option that would 'come' to mind but none the less. This was a very descriptive read with a good poke at festive humor. The beat seemed a bit off in places but I figure it was written to the sounds of 'Santa Claus is 'coming' to town'.
Thanks for the share and Merry Christmas:-) ~DD
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Lancellot, gosh this is some read. Yes, you are right in that adults need a bit of fun at Christmas time too. It's not the first option that would 'come' to mind but none the less. This was a very descriptive read with a good poke at festive humor. The beat seemed a bit off in places but I figure it was written to the sounds of 'Santa Claus is 'coming' to town'.
Thanks for the share and Merry Christmas:-) ~DD
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Tealight
I'm never one to mind poking at adult fun, and I think the picture chosen and the design of the layout definitely gave the perfect vibe in regard to that. But the poem was hard to read. The meter is just slightly different from the original it's a play on, and it made it awkward to get into the rhythm of reading with the expectation it presented.
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reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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I'm never one to mind poking at adult fun, and I think the picture chosen and the design of the layout definitely gave the perfect vibe in regard to that. But the poem was hard to read. The meter is just slightly different from the original it's a play on, and it made it awkward to get into the rhythm of reading with the expectation it presented.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from rjuselius
haha. lol. this is an entertaining piece of poetry dear lancellot! it's somehow raunchy and slightly vulgar in my prude opinion :P i did like the wording as it is for adults only, an x-rated poem. this is also a unique and original set of imagery.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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haha. lol. this is an entertaining piece of poetry dear lancellot! it's somehow raunchy and slightly vulgar in my prude opinion :P i did like the wording as it is for adults only, an x-rated poem. this is also a unique and original set of imagery.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Douglas Paul
Somehow this does NOT seem to fit the image of Santa that I have had for a very long time LOL. I sincerely hope Mrs. Clause doesn't read this one. I wonder this is how Rudolf really go his red nose?
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Somehow this does NOT seem to fit the image of Santa that I have had for a very long time LOL. I sincerely hope Mrs. Clause doesn't read this one. I wonder this is how Rudolf really go his red nose?
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Winslow
Dear Lancelot,
Who knew Santa was so endowed, perhaps his tummy overlapped it somehow. Hidden away so the girls couldn't see it-but then brought forth to everyone's good night.
Merry XXXXmas,
Winslow
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Dear Lancelot,
Who knew Santa was so endowed, perhaps his tummy overlapped it somehow. Hidden away so the girls couldn't see it-but then brought forth to everyone's good night.
Merry XXXXmas,
Winslow
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Where is that old fat pimp," with righteous fury I cried
"Forget it, ho, Santa's married; he won't come inside."
I looked the strangely cute elf over from head to toe
Then prepared to strike the old midget a mighty blow ... Heh-heh-heh...
This was g-r-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrreat, Lance. The storey, the rhyming...all of it.
You are also absolutely correct in saying that anyone crossing the "Adult Barrier" should know full well what they are about to get into prior to doing so.
I wasn't disappointed, LOL.
A Very Scray Christmas to you, myfiend friend, and a Hackey New Year!
~Dean (So sorry I've no sixes left!)
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Where is that old fat pimp," with righteous fury I cried
"Forget it, ho, Santa's married; he won't come inside."
I looked the strangely cute elf over from head to toe
Then prepared to strike the old midget a mighty blow ... Heh-heh-heh...
This was g-r-r-r-r-r-rrrrrrreat, Lance. The storey, the rhyming...all of it.
You are also absolutely correct in saying that anyone crossing the "Adult Barrier" should know full well what they are about to get into prior to doing so.
I wasn't disappointed, LOL.
A Very Scray Christmas to you, my
~Dean (So sorry I've no sixes left!)
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Ridley Williams
Well, you certainly went "balls to the walls" with this one, lol. It never would have occurred to me to write a Christmas poem staged at a whorehouse! Ha!
Still, you do a nice job of portraying all the action that a night with the "shady ladies" might bring.
I chuckled all the way through this one...although I don' t think I'll read it to my grandmother, lol.
A fun romp through the hay, my friend...best of luck with your entry!
Happy Holidays,
Bill
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Well, you certainly went "balls to the walls" with this one, lol. It never would have occurred to me to write a Christmas poem staged at a whorehouse! Ha!
Still, you do a nice job of portraying all the action that a night with the "shady ladies" might bring.
I chuckled all the way through this one...although I don' t think I'll read it to my grandmother, lol.
A fun romp through the hay, my friend...best of luck with your entry!
Happy Holidays,
Bill
Comment Written 23-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2016
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Thank you very much.
