Tucker: Double Crossed (Part-4)
The good guys made to look bad.35 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Good action, plot development, though a bit rich with cliche's.
The first paragraph semicolon should probably be a dash as used in the 2nd paragraph.
exhaled deeply, and - comma not needed
Short-circuited brain signals unable to differentiate between a rhythmless Hustle and be-bopping Macarena. - needs a verb
an 8x8 vertical column. - 'vertical' is redundant. 8 inch or feet?
A deceptive and ruthless thief; now, admired as a hero. - generally, a semicolon requires a complete sentence on both sides.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
  |
Good action, plot development, though a bit rich with cliche's.
The first paragraph semicolon should probably be a dash as used in the 2nd paragraph.
exhaled deeply, and - comma not needed
Short-circuited brain signals unable to differentiate between a rhythmless Hustle and be-bopping Macarena. - needs a verb
an 8x8 vertical column. - 'vertical' is redundant. 8 inch or feet?
A deceptive and ruthless thief; now, admired as a hero. - generally, a semicolon requires a complete sentence on both sides.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thanks so much, Wayne, for you generous review, kind words, and suggestions. This story is meant as more of a farce than serious, as is most everything I write with silly, simile and cliché-laden exaggerations. Plus, you'll find that I use a lot of fragments, many times intentionally. I assumed that 8x8 in a pole barn would be understood to mean inches, but from now on, I'll stop assuming. The vertical was added for those who might not know the difference between say columns and ceiling joist directions. But again, fine points that are greatly appreciated. Thanks again for taking time to read my foolishness.
-
lol
Might need a few 'more' cliches, then!
-
Believe me, Wayne, I had a bunch more in the beginning. LOL. Much appreciated!
Comment from jenintorre
Wow! What amazing and fast paced writing. You are very clever. You have a great knowledge of acids. I sure wouldn't
Want to get on the wrong side of you.
Thanks for a brilliant read. All the best. Jen. X
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
 |
Wow! What amazing and fast paced writing. You are very clever. You have a great knowledge of acids. I sure wouldn't
Want to get on the wrong side of you.
Thanks for a brilliant read. All the best. Jen. X
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Jen, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Just a silly old boy who tries to keep a little excitement in life from his La-Z-Boy when he'd rather be carousing and whooping it up like the days of old. LOL. Hope all is well in your world. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Jay Squires
Whoa! You did a fine job with this, Ric. All the twists and turns ... and at each one, there is mor action than Wednesday night's Chicago P.D. Your action sequences are some of the best I've read here, by the way. Tight and taut! A great job!
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
|
Whoa! You did a fine job with this, Ric. All the twists and turns ... and at each one, there is mor action than Wednesday night's Chicago P.D. Your action sequences are some of the best I've read here, by the way. Tight and taut! A great job!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Jay, for your generous review and kind words. I'm just an old boy trying to inject a little excitement and overexaggerated foolishness into a mundane life that needs a jump start. LOL. There is nothing that pleases me more than for such a talented writer and wordsmith to take time to offer encouragement for my scratchings. I appreciate YOU!
-
We both know they're not scratchings! LOL.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! But it always gets really bad before it gets better, right? That Farnsworth was a lot more sneaky than Tucker ever expected. Hope that Tammy Jo can use her chemistry info to turn the tables on her captors.
criminal in Northern American (America)
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
|
Oh no! But it always gets really bad before it gets better, right? That Farnsworth was a lot more sneaky than Tucker ever expected. Hope that Tammy Jo can use her chemistry info to turn the tables on her captors.
criminal in Northern American (America)
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Helen, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Unlike most, I don't use outlines or plots, so I just start writing and let the characters and action take me where they will. Now I've painted myself in a corner with where to go next. LOL. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Everything has suddenly turned on a dime and become an entirely different story. It does not look good for the three the reader assumes are the heroes. Good twist and I'll be interested in seeing how you get them out of where they suddenly are.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
|
Everything has suddenly turned on a dime and become an entirely different story. It does not look good for the three the reader assumes are the heroes. Good twist and I'll be interested in seeing how you get them out of where they suddenly are.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Carol, for hanging in there with another of my goofy chapters. I don't use an outline or plot and just let my characters and action take me wherever they lead. Now I've created a mess. LOL. I appreciate YOU, and the generous review!
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved this, Ric. If I ever want to get rid of a body, I now know what to do and not do. This is excellent writing, as usual. I always enjoy the action in your stories and the feelings you're left with as a reader. I'm looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
|
I loved this, Ric. If I ever want to get rid of a body, I now know what to do and not do. This is excellent writing, as usual. I always enjoy the action in your stories and the feelings you're left with as a reader. I'm looking forward to more.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, John, for your generous review and kind words. Such is living life from a La-Z-Boy, searching for action, excitement, and some foolish, overexaggerated entertainment. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from nomi338
Your mind is a dangerous weapon. It is probably criminally clever. To have conceived of such a clever double cross takes some top level deviousness. We should be afraid of you, very much afraid. I would award you six stars, sadly I have none left.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
|
Your mind is a dangerous weapon. It is probably criminally clever. To have conceived of such a clever double cross takes some top level deviousness. We should be afraid of you, very much afraid. I would award you six stars, sadly I have none left.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Nomi, for your generous review and kind words. I think . . .. LOL. I'm one of those crazies who just starts writing with a thought, using no outline or plot, and letting the characters and action take me where it will. So that, not even I know where a story is going. I always appreciate your kind reviews!
-
Listen, you must always trust your instincts. You are not brand new to life and living. Your stories are a product of experiences stored in your memory banks. They formulate into the exciting stories that you put together and excite your grateful readers.
Comment from royowen
Quite and intricate plot, heavily disguised at the beginning, and a plot designed to never be found out. And you've cleverly thought of it, it takes a slightly devious mind to think like the perfect criminal, well done, an excellent story with the right amount of antagonists and protagonists, good job, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
|
Quite and intricate plot, heavily disguised at the beginning, and a plot designed to never be found out. And you've cleverly thought of it, it takes a slightly devious mind to think like the perfect criminal, well done, an excellent story with the right amount of antagonists and protagonists, good job, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Roy, for your kind words and generous review. I'm one of those crazies who never creates an outline or plot. I just start writing and let the action and characters take us wherever they will. And sometimes, I end up trapped in a corner, kind of like where I am now. LOL. I appreciate YOU, and the encouragement!
-
Your unique among storytellers, you should?ve been a poet Ric, but well done, instinct is really the way to go, it?s certainly more exciting.
-
I'll leave the poetry up to the true wordsmiths like you. But I might have tried it had I not waited until I was over fifty to learn a noun from a verb. LOL. It's the encouragement from the true talents like you who've kept me scratching. :-)
-
I was 45 when learned to play guitar and write lyrics, heh heh, don?t worry Ric, fortunately I was language oriented when young, thank you for your kind words, but I?ve heard what others say of your obvious talent.
-
Congratulations on the guitar at 45! I started playing the guitar at 5 and signed a recording contract at 17, and my life went to pieces from there. LOL. So, sometimes, things are meant to come later. Writing for me, is just a way to keep my runaway mind entertained. I always appreciate your kind words!
-
God bless you Ric, sung in a rock band in my twenties, ended when the lead guitarist?s wife ran off with the rhythm guitarist, a technicolor life. A brief career, Heh heh.
-
Heh Heh, yes, the life of a rock star leads most I've known down a road to despair and ruins, even if not monetarily. God bless you Roy.
-
That?s right
Comment from juliaSjames
Wow! The action is fast and furious in this chapter. Some exceptional descriptions as for example when TD drags Tammy willy nilly trying to save both their skins. All to no avail. Not sure they would be available to scream through the hoods. What do you think?
Meanwhile the narrative has taken an almost farcical turn with the bad guy being hailed as a saviour. But hey? This happens a lot in real life, so it's believable.
Maybe a tad TMI, Ric when you explain the abominable snowman.
Now I'm waiting to see how Tucker extricates himself from this mess and saves his friends.
Exceptional raw full blooded write, my friend
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
|
Wow! The action is fast and furious in this chapter. Some exceptional descriptions as for example when TD drags Tammy willy nilly trying to save both their skins. All to no avail. Not sure they would be available to scream through the hoods. What do you think?
Meanwhile the narrative has taken an almost farcical turn with the bad guy being hailed as a saviour. But hey? This happens a lot in real life, so it's believable.
Maybe a tad TMI, Ric when you explain the abominable snowman.
Now I'm waiting to see how Tucker extricates himself from this mess and saves his friends.
Exceptional raw full blooded write, my friend
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Julia, for your extra-special six-star review, kind words, and suggestions. With all the thinner nylon and polyester mixed fabrics that are actually considered to screen out the elements better than traditional cottons and wools, I believe they could be heard clearly. However, I trust your judgement better than mine, so I'll dump it. Believe it or not, I did a little reading up before I put "kicking and screaming" in. Yes, I agree that the snowman information is too much. I thought so from the beginning, but I wanted to emphasize huge scary eyes. LOL. As I'm sure you've noticed, all my stories are meant to be silly, overexaggerated, simile-laden, farces. The goofier the better. I'm just honored that you spend them time reading my foolishness. I appreciate YOU!
-
Waiting for the next chapter but hey! No pressure!!! LOL
Julia
-
You're just so sweet!
Comment from Annmuma
WHAT A CHAPTER! I have a tendency to do 'fast reads' on the longer posts -- but found that very difficult to do with this chapter. It held my attention from word to word to paragraph to ending. The characters are well drawn and the chapter's scenes are palpable. Excellent -- maybe I should say 'exceptional' writing. ann
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
|
WHAT A CHAPTER! I have a tendency to do 'fast reads' on the longer posts -- but found that very difficult to do with this chapter. It held my attention from word to word to paragraph to ending. The characters are well drawn and the chapter's scenes are palpable. Excellent -- maybe I should say 'exceptional' writing. ann
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much, Ann, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Figuring this genre isn't everyone's cup of tea, I try to kick up the action and lessen the reflections, so you don't check out early. I try to keep every post to less than 1,200 to 1,500 words. This one is about twenty words over, and the two before this were even longer. But luckily for readers, I don't usually post often. LOL. I appreciate YOU, and your encouragement!
