A Leaf on the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Big Red Rooster"Autobiography of abuse
27 total reviews
Comment from laurelp
I went back to start from the beginning. I came in this story several chapters later. It is written well from the point of view you have chosen. So far so good.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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I went back to start from the beginning. I came in this story several chapters later. It is written well from the point of view you have chosen. So far so good.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I know it is difficult to start in the middle whithout having all the background. I am pleased you were interested enough to take the time to start at the beginning. That, in itself, is a compliment.
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As you will note, I am up to chapter 8. I will make it through all of the chapters to be ready for any new ones. I am enjoying the way you write. You are doing a wonderful job.
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Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your comments.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
This is a charming and innocent introduction to what is to come. I share your passion for animals. They were all I had in my own abused childhood. Poor rooster. I am also vegetarian! Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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This is a charming and innocent introduction to what is to come. I share your passion for animals. They were all I had in my own abused childhood. Poor rooster. I am also vegetarian! Great job.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2009
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Thank you very much for you comment. You hit the nail on the head...I wanted to introduce myself to the reader as a real child, with thoughts, opinions and feeings. Again, thank you for you comments.
Comment from Ouida
What a delightful story and insight into the life of a little girl who is very ingenious. You certainly conveyed how a small child thinks and feels about different things. I noticed your author notes. I came from a home of abuse so I am extremely interested in following this story.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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What a delightful story and insight into the life of a little girl who is very ingenious. You certainly conveyed how a small child thinks and feels about different things. I noticed your author notes. I came from a home of abuse so I am extremely interested in following this story.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind words. I hope you read more and look forwad to your thoughts.
Comment from Seraphim Delphinium
What a captivating story! Really great imagery and laced with all the thoughts and emotions of a five year old. As a child, my family had chickens, pigs, goats, etc. One Easter Sunday we had what I thought was chicken. You can only imagine my shock and disgust when Daddy told us what "hassenfeffer" was: RABBIT! Yes, it was after I had seconds, and I just knew I had eaten the Easter Bunny! Your story brought back a LOT of memories. Great work! Seraph ~
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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What a captivating story! Really great imagery and laced with all the thoughts and emotions of a five year old. As a child, my family had chickens, pigs, goats, etc. One Easter Sunday we had what I thought was chicken. You can only imagine my shock and disgust when Daddy told us what "hassenfeffer" was: RABBIT! Yes, it was after I had seconds, and I just knew I had eaten the Easter Bunny! Your story brought back a LOT of memories. Great work! Seraph ~
Comment Written 04-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I am pleased you enjoyed it. I intentionally wanted to present it from the point of view of the child I was at the time.
Comment from wazzo
Oh dear sweet innocence seeking to be a Dr Doolittle having that innocence completely destroyed by a cruel Mother feeding you with the creature with whom you had developed a wonderful relationship. Interesting story. Blessings Albert
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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Oh dear sweet innocence seeking to be a Dr Doolittle having that innocence completely destroyed by a cruel Mother feeding you with the creature with whom you had developed a wonderful relationship. Interesting story. Blessings Albert
Comment Written 02-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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Thank you.
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Thank you. I appreciate your eloquent critique. Your words described my feelings quite nicely.
Comment from thorney
Hi there Smurphgirl. I see you are new to the site and this is your very first posting. First let me say 'welcome' and tell you, you are in for a great time.
This is a commendable first effort, you obviously have a talent for writing.
Your writing is clear, concise and has a natural flow to it. I really enjoyed this story of yours.
Now a couple of tips:
Keep you paragraphs fairly short, no more than about ten sentences. When you introduce speech, put the speech of each separate person on its own - leave a blank space before and after a each person speaks.
I know this is not done in printed form, but it makes reading on a computer screen a whole lot easier.
And now, a couple of things you need to address:
vein - vain. The first is something in your body.
... wondering if they (were) warning each other ...
I think it needs the extra word.
This is a cracking first post by you, and I'm certain we will see lots more of your talent in the weeks and months to come.
Regards, Pete.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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Hi there Smurphgirl. I see you are new to the site and this is your very first posting. First let me say 'welcome' and tell you, you are in for a great time.
This is a commendable first effort, you obviously have a talent for writing.
Your writing is clear, concise and has a natural flow to it. I really enjoyed this story of yours.
Now a couple of tips:
Keep you paragraphs fairly short, no more than about ten sentences. When you introduce speech, put the speech of each separate person on its own - leave a blank space before and after a each person speaks.
I know this is not done in printed form, but it makes reading on a computer screen a whole lot easier.
And now, a couple of things you need to address:
vein - vain. The first is something in your body.
... wondering if they (were) warning each other ...
I think it needs the extra word.
This is a cracking first post by you, and I'm certain we will see lots more of your talent in the weeks and months to come.
Regards, Pete.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I appreciate your suggestions and will incorporate them into my story.
Comment from utopian_dream_x
This is an interesting piece of non fiction. I thought your narrative was clear, concise and easy to follow. I enjoyed the read!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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This is an interesting piece of non fiction. I thought your narrative was clear, concise and easy to follow. I enjoyed the read!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2009
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Thank you. I appreciate all comments, especially the positive
