Benefits Of The Job
An unlikely encounter.23 total reviews
Comment from Tryynity Belle
I enjoyed this. The pace was correct and each sentence enticed me to read further. All writing is seduction not just in erotic fiction, you are seducing your reader to read on, to be involved in the scene. I was.
I would suggest some revision though, I know you have a word limit so it makes it tricky. There were some gaps that could have been filled with a reaction or a description of one of the senses.
There was also a grammatical error (I didn't notice when her turned away and laughed to herself.) I think you meant she.
But overall it was very good and Im just being picky LOL
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I enjoyed this. The pace was correct and each sentence enticed me to read further. All writing is seduction not just in erotic fiction, you are seducing your reader to read on, to be involved in the scene. I was.
I would suggest some revision though, I know you have a word limit so it makes it tricky. There were some gaps that could have been filled with a reaction or a description of one of the senses.
There was also a grammatical error (I didn't notice when her turned away and laughed to herself.) I think you meant she.
But overall it was very good and Im just being picky LOL
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
Comment from bkbehera
An wonderful piece of erotic story creating vibration and thrill while going through. The flow of facts is slow and steady but win the heart.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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An wonderful piece of erotic story creating vibration and thrill while going through. The flow of facts is slow and steady but win the heart.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thank you. I thought slow was good to build up the tension. I appreciate your review.
Comment from barkingdog
You introduced your characters very well as two opposites and then he found out that they hand one thing in common.
Your dialogue is natural and your sex scene erotic not pornographic. It was tastefully done rather than shocking.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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You introduced your characters very well as two opposites and then he found out that they hand one thing in common.
Your dialogue is natural and your sex scene erotic not pornographic. It was tastefully done rather than shocking.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thank you. I tried not to get too graphic in the sex scene. Your comments tell me I accomplished that. Thank you for reviewing.
