Introducing My New Boyfriend
A relationship on the rocks already (50 words)27 total reviews
Comment from WryWriter
LOL! Your flash story is very funny! I really liked the photograph you picked for the theme...or, was it the inspiration for the story? The last line is a hoot!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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LOL! Your flash story is very funny! I really liked the photograph you picked for the theme...or, was it the inspiration for the story? The last line is a hoot!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your review. I got someone to take the photo of me and my new friend on a boat trip. When I got home I could see that it would make a great mini-story... hence the dribble.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice photo and story, Lisa.
-Thanks for sharing the notes, too.
-The description in the story
is very good, like how the
new boyfriend is always in a suit!
-I like the swimming and reading
part, and the conclusion is very good, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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-Nice photo and story, Lisa.
-Thanks for sharing the notes, too.
-The description in the story
is very good, like how the
new boyfriend is always in a suit!
-I like the swimming and reading
part, and the conclusion is very good, too.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your review, Pam. That new boyfriend has stinky fish breath!
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You are very welcome, Lisa. I guess he would!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a lovely way of writing opposites, and the author has managed to describe a lot of them clearly in so few words without being boring.
I am always very interested in dribbles, as it seems that most don't have a very developed story line, but are just a snapshot of an instant in time, or a development of a single thought process. That doesn't bother me personally, but I was once criticised for it, and for a long time thought it was just me.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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This is a lovely way of writing opposites, and the author has managed to describe a lot of them clearly in so few words without being boring.
I am always very interested in dribbles, as it seems that most don't have a very developed story line, but are just a snapshot of an instant in time, or a development of a single thought process. That doesn't bother me personally, but I was once criticised for it, and for a long time thought it was just me.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks for reviewing, Katherine. Producing a readable dribble with a well developed story line in just 50 words is a big ask, so I never mind how they are dished up, as long as they hold my attention. It could even be a shopping list, but a long as the items were interesting and had some amusement or informative factor then that would be fine by me.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
What a grand description of a penguin. And since penguins look like they're wearing a tuxedo, how appropriate to him as your new boyfriend. Well done with 50 words.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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What a grand description of a penguin. And since penguins look like they're wearing a tuxedo, how appropriate to him as your new boyfriend. Well done with 50 words.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your review, Darlene. Oh yes, my new boyfriend knows how to dress for the occasion.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a very cute dribble fiction piece and the picture is great as is the ending. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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This is a very cute dribble fiction piece and the picture is great as is the ending. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Debbie. I had fun writing it; not so much fun with my new boyfriend - he has fish-breath and never talks to me.
Comment from Alex Rosel
Ha, ha. This is an entertaining short read. Of course, it's sort of dependent on the picture you've chosen to accompany it, but I don't think that doesn't detract from the humor. And I love the culminating "twist" {smiles}. Did you stop to think, though: neither of you can fly, so perhaps the relationship will "fly" {winks}.
Best of luck with the competition {smiles}.
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Ha, ha. This is an entertaining short read. Of course, it's sort of dependent on the picture you've chosen to accompany it, but I don't think that doesn't detract from the humor. And I love the culminating "twist" {smiles}. Did you stop to think, though: neither of you can fly, so perhaps the relationship will "fly" {winks}.
Best of luck with the competition {smiles}.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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No, I didn't stop to think. I was put off by his fish-breath. I did rather fancy his bright yellow eyebrows though.
Initially, I had written that he 'knew how to dress for an occasion', then I changed it to 'always wears a penguin suit' so the story wasn't entirely dependent on the photo. I couldn't quite work in to the brief allowance that it is a cross-species relationship.
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"I was put off by his fish-breath. I did rather fancy his bright yellow eyebrows though." ? LOL!
Yes, these dribble fiction remits are challenging. I usually struggle to fit all my idea into 50 words (or whatever). I think you have a good entry. And, of course the image contributes -- if it didn't, then why is it there? {Thumbs up}.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
He he he, this is witty and fun and I enjoyed every word here Lisa, you are so good at these dribble flash fiction writes, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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He he he, this is witty and fun and I enjoyed every word here Lisa, you are so good at these dribble flash fiction writes, I wish you luck with the contest, love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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He's a wee cutie, isn't he?! I do like his yellow eyebrows. Such a snappy dresser.
