Comment from Pearl Edwards

Exceptional

I am glad you have reposted this one Paul. I had goosebumps as I was reading this one and the emotions of yourself and the old veteran. Beautifully told in rhyming verse.
cheers
valda

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks, Pearl, for the review and kind words. Goosebumps are good in this situation.

Comment from Aussie

Exceptional

This must be one of your best poems. Not many soldiers alive now that fought in France. I watched a doco on 'the war to end all wars' WW1 a total slaughter for what purpose? Twenty thousand young men died. Not everyone was found to be buried, they say they lay beneath the ground of the Somme. Excellent renditions written in quatrains.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks, Aussie. I can't imagine what it must have been like to storm those shores.

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this moving poem. I'm glad you have kept that sand to remember and honor those amazing, brave men who sacrificed so much in their youth. Jaybird on this site also served in WWII.
Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks, Helen. Some parts of the poem are fictitious. The old vet with the sand is true.

Comment from lauralumummu

Exceptional

This is an amazing well-written poem with inspiring thoughts. Thanks for sharing your experience. I love the rhyme sequence. If you go to the advanced editor you can make the font a little bigger and maybe add a picture? All the best, Laura

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review and advice, Laura.

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Exceptional

Simply stunning and powerful. The telling and writing just superb. The ending was heartfelt.
My Dad was in Normandy and luckily was in the 2nd wave.
Best regards
Mary

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks, Mary. Your Dad must have some dreadful memories of that day.

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

This is a very good rhyming pattern. I like your poetry structure. Excellent work! One reminder though, make sure the lines all rhyme. Otherwise excellent work! Good luck!

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review, Raul. I'll take a look at the poem again. I thought everything rhymed.

reply by Raul1 on 28-Oct-2021

You're welcome!

Comment from Mrs. KT

Excellent

Simply stellar, Paul!
I so appreciate the sentiments that you express in your exceptionally well-crafted poetic offering.
Your words personally resonate with me as both my father and uncle served in WWII. While my father returned, my uncle did not = a survivor of the Bataan Death March, he was a Japanese prisoner of war at Cabanatuan and was summarily killed - along with over 1500 POWs -by an American submarine, the USS Snook, while chained in the hold of the Japanese Hell Ship, the Arisan Maru while being transferred to the mainland for slave labor.
Your words tell of a time that must not be forgotten.
Brilliant delivery.

Thank you for sharing!
diane

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks, Diane. As painful as those memories are, you are right. We must never forget.

Comment from Senyai

Excellent

Hi Paul,

Wow, this is really stellar poetry of the greatest generation's giving spirit to the very end. Makes me shed a tear for sure. If we had lost WWII, what a horror this world would be. My hat is always off for these soldiers that literally saved us all.

Your words flowed down the page in your characteristic style that I love :))

Good luck with this beautiful entry. Sounds like a winner to me :))

Always,
Senyai

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021

Thanks, Senyai. I've been reading a little about WWII, and you are right. This world would be a horror show if we had lost that war.

reply by Senyai on 27-Oct-2021

Chills me to my core, the scenario if we had lost.

Comment from RPSaxena

Excellent

Hello Paul Mcfarland,
Nice piece of War and History Poetry meeting the desired norms, having impressive phraseology, smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme, and beautifully incorporating your true story drenched in patriotism.
The last but one stanza is particularly noteworthy.
Superb!
BEST OF LUCK in the contest.
[ I'm without any 'SIXER' at present. Otherwise, it deserves to be honored with SIX STARS.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review and the kind words. This poem brought a tear to my eye when I wrote it.

reply by RPSaxena on 28-Oct-2021

Paul McFarland, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP

Comment from Janet Foor

Exceptional

Thank you for your service Paul.

This is an amazing story in a well written poem. Coming from a family of WWII Vets, this especially moving to me.

Well done.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2021

---

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2021

Thank you, Janet. My father was a WWII vet, too.