Tick Tock
Contest entry.55 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is a really great horror poem. I like the effects of the dripping blood. Great ending for a great poem. This poem is easy to read and understand. The only thing I saw was you should have put vanish without a trace, instead of without trace. I think it would sound better that way. Very good work
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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This is a really great horror poem. I like the effects of the dripping blood. Great ending for a great poem. This poem is easy to read and understand. The only thing I saw was you should have put vanish without a trace, instead of without trace. I think it would sound better that way. Very good work
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much! Since this is written in sonnet form I must adhere to a strict syllable count in each line, as well as iambic pentameter throughout. It would be a good suggestion if this were just a simple set of quatrains but not in this case. I am happy you enjoyed it and very grateful for the lovely words of encouragement.
Comment from bhogg
Very dark, but certainly well written for the contest. Easy to read with a pleasant rhyme scheme. I believe this will do well in your contest. Bill
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Very dark, but certainly well written for the contest. Easy to read with a pleasant rhyme scheme. I believe this will do well in your contest. Bill
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Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, Bill! I am grateful for your time and encouraging feedback for this piece. It is greatly appreciated.
Comment from rspoet
Horror most red, foul and dripping
Two sonnets, a double dose of horror and fun?
Perfectly rhymed through all the quatrains and couplets
The meter consistently ticking "iambicly"
Tick, tock, dee dum
Rest not, for with blade, silently I come
Darkly executed with great visuals
Black is back, blood red the font
The only very slight change I might have made
is to start the first sonnet with Tick..., the second with Tock...
But it matters not, for it is six stars as it is
Good luck in the Horror Story Poem Contest
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Horror most red, foul and dripping
Two sonnets, a double dose of horror and fun?
Perfectly rhymed through all the quatrains and couplets
The meter consistently ticking "iambicly"
Tick, tock, dee dum
Rest not, for with blade, silently I come
Darkly executed with great visuals
Black is back, blood red the font
The only very slight change I might have made
is to start the first sonnet with Tick..., the second with Tock...
But it matters not, for it is six stars as it is
Good luck in the Horror Story Poem Contest
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Thank you VERY much! I actually started out that way using Tick and Tock and then felt like it interrupted the story rather than enhancing it. I am thrilled beyond words by your kind and generous feedback. It is greatly appreciated and always needed when I wander into the dark side.
Comment from nancyrabbrose
Wow, that was great. You accomplished your goal; that was a horror story. The imagery was excellent. Blood which pulses and a clock that ticks were an excellent way to set up your poem-story.
I cannot find anything to change, except the spelling of soothe. No big deal.
Again, good work. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Wow, that was great. You accomplished your goal; that was a horror story. The imagery was excellent. Blood which pulses and a clock that ticks were an excellent way to set up your poem-story.
I cannot find anything to change, except the spelling of soothe. No big deal.
Again, good work. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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WOW!!!! Thank you VERY much for the kind and amazingly generous encouragement. Horror is not my thing so this was a stretch and you have made the effort more than worthwhile with such uplifting feedback. I am more grateful than words can possibly express.
Comment from dragonpoet
This tells of a crime of passion. A husband killing his wife for a love promised that was betrayed or just faded.
This story is told in two well formatted Shakespearan sonnets.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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This tells of a crime of passion. A husband killing his wife for a love promised that was betrayed or just faded.
This story is told in two well formatted Shakespearan sonnets.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much for the kind words of encouragement and support. It is greatly appreciated.
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You are so very welcome.
dragonpoet
