Reviews from

Ben Paul Persons

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Ben Paul Persons, Ch. 5"
A fresh calling

10 total reviews 
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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I'm more surprised they left the car doors open. Very interesting chapter.

notes:
 
Texan's store wagons were all burned,
-Texans' store wagons were all burned,

"I'd love that. Mexican?" She asked,
- "I'd love that. Mexican?" she asked,

"No police. They dón like us. And they neber belieb a Mexicali.["]

-add (if not continued in next line)

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 13-Dec-2024
    Thank you very much for your great review.
    Most locks unlocked in the 70s, in more rural areas especially.
Comment from Jim Wile
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I enjoyed hearing about some of those sites around the southwest. Sounds like you may have some experience traveling around that part of the country.

The challenge has been issued to Ben Paul: "I don't believe you." Let's see how persuasive he can be. Perhaps this is just a small-time bigoted Sheriff's department, or maybe there's something more significant going on here. We'll have to wait and see. Good chapter.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
    Thank you.
    Yes, my wife and I love the southwest.
Comment from lyenochka
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Oh my goodness! This poor couple can't get any time off, just enjoying historical landmarks and visiting. Now they're embroiled in some murder mystery and have to defend a young stranger! I'm sure they'll know what to do.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
    Could get dicey! (smiley face here)
    Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
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They were having such a good time, but that didn't last. If someone can't believe an elderly preacher, there is something rotten in that town.
Although it is a good thing to have her savage step-father dead.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
    Thank you. Yes, I believe a writer's duty is to convince readers that a character needed put down. (smiley face here)
Comment from Wendy G
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Well, that was an unexpected switch in the middle of their happy little road trip! and yes, there is a problem when people are not believed simply because they are "different" even though they are telling the truth. Another fine chapter.
Wendy

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
    Thank you. Repetition and predictability are not our friends.
    smiley face here
reply by Wendy G on 11-Dec-2024
    Lol. Yes, this was a bit more than just a flat tyre!!
Comment from papa55mike
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Well, that was a nice twist at the end going from a pleasant trip to a murder investigation. Please check your paragraph breaks. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your book. Have a great day, and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
    Thank you. I will (check the paragraph breaks)
Comment from royowen
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Isn't it funny? When you belong to a race of people that don't reflect the colour or common language you can be treated as the spawn of the devil, but unless we are under the blood of the lamb we are all like the spawn of the devil, we simply aren't aware of it, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
    Thank you very much. I appreciate your very nice review.
reply by royowen on 11-Dec-2024
    Pleasure
Comment from BethShelby
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This couple is getting into all sorts of things they don't expect. They go to a Mexican restaurant and end up having to try to rescue a girl accused of murder. She was right about the cobs not believeing what they said.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
    Thank you. And now if they can get themselves out of trouble.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
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Love the line, when referring to the stagecoach stop, "He might have (seen it)."


Ben and Sylvia sound very authentic in their conversations on the road. Lots of trivial pursuit.

They run into more trouble in a few days and weeks than I have in a lifetime! Maybe they should rethink the "road trip."

See ya soon:-)

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
    smiley face here
    Their conversation largely mimics Debbie and I.
    Without an antagonist, I had to have near constant tension from their circumstances. (I think)
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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It's always nice to read stories from a man of the world who seems to know quite a lot about more things than just writing fiction. His shared experiences in his characters comes from living, not reading. And I agree, authentic Mexican food is generally rather bland and tasteless, unless you add the spices, usually on the table. :-) Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2024


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2024
    Thank 'you' for your great review.
    While it's true I have several miles on the old odometer, my 'man-of-the-world' tag might oughta have a qualifier or two attached. (smiley face here)