An Allegory of Ashes
A poem about the dangers of not dealing with your past.3 total reviews
Comment from Elias Noor
This acrostic poem beautifully explores the metaphor of a spark symbolizing transformation, destruction, and longing for renewal. The progression from birth to realization adds depth and emotion, making the piece thought-provoking and engaging.
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This acrostic poem beautifully explores the metaphor of a spark symbolizing transformation, destruction, and longing for renewal. The progression from birth to realization adds depth and emotion, making the piece thought-provoking and engaging.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Congratulations and welcome! This is a very good first post, a first milestone. You followed the allegory metaphor throughout. I words you chose were full pf colorful imagery, I enjoyed reading your poem. Best wishes to you, Alex
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Congratulations and welcome! This is a very good first post, a first milestone. You followed the allegory metaphor throughout. I words you chose were full pf colorful imagery, I enjoyed reading your poem. Best wishes to you, Alex
Comment Written 09-Jan-2025
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Hi Julia --
A couple of quick format points:
First, it's hard to read your offering because the alignment (or mis-alignment) of lines and
Second, there's an awful lot of 'gnome graffiti' in your subtitle and in your author notes.
Review:
For your 'first words', it's best not to repeat a word for a double letter in the acrostic word -- you use the word leaving twice for the double 'L' in 'Allegory'...
Also, the name of your poem should be the word you've chosen to 'acrosticize' (made up word there...!)
Finally, try to make your lines a bit shorter so that they find a rhythm as the reader reads through it... Reading it aloud to yourself should help with this...
Overall a great first post! You'll get the hang of the editor (try the advanced one for more variety in formatting) and I look forward to reading you more!! ;)
Thanx for sharing your pen and for joining us here at Fanstory! ;)
 |
Hi Julia --
A couple of quick format points:
First, it's hard to read your offering because the alignment (or mis-alignment) of lines and
Second, there's an awful lot of 'gnome graffiti' in your subtitle and in your author notes.
Review:
For your 'first words', it's best not to repeat a word for a double letter in the acrostic word -- you use the word leaving twice for the double 'L' in 'Allegory'...
Also, the name of your poem should be the word you've chosen to 'acrosticize' (made up word there...!)
Finally, try to make your lines a bit shorter so that they find a rhythm as the reader reads through it... Reading it aloud to yourself should help with this...
Overall a great first post! You'll get the hang of the editor (try the advanced one for more variety in formatting) and I look forward to reading you more!! ;)
Thanx for sharing your pen and for joining us here at Fanstory! ;)
Comment Written 09-Jan-2025
