Benefits Of The Job
An unlikely encounter.23 total reviews
Comment from Vladilynn
Congratulations for winning this one! It's hot enough to leave your audiences wanting more but it also makes us to imagine further and say you're a good teaser!! Lol
Thank you for sharing.
Love much,
Lynn:0)
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2012
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Congratulations for winning this one! It's hot enough to leave your audiences wanting more but it also makes us to imagine further and say you're a good teaser!! Lol
Thank you for sharing.
Love much,
Lynn:0)
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2012
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HI, Lynn. Thanks for the wonderful comments. Me, a tease? LOL. You're fun. Thanks for reading. - John
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Huh!! finally you replied John. Lol
Yes, you're a big teaser...will check with your entry later today, did you able to finish it? I'm lost track of your story so I didn't able to come back:( (but I will)
You're a great competitor and very challenging as well. Hope you've time to peek on mine, wilderness!:P
Comment from nora arjuna
hi there, stumbled upon this and thought i'd check it out. congrats on the win. it was well-written - both dialogues and scenes were just right not overdone.
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hi there, stumbled upon this and thought i'd check it out. congrats on the win. it was well-written - both dialogues and scenes were just right not overdone.
Comment Written 15-Sep-2012
Comment from petervs
Well-deserved win!!!!!! It was an awesome read, i lived every moment while I read it, and it was quite randy! =p You really have a nice way of choosing words and conveying the message to your audience! Thanks for sharing! ;-)
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Well-deserved win!!!!!! It was an awesome read, i lived every moment while I read it, and it was quite randy! =p You really have a nice way of choosing words and conveying the message to your audience! Thanks for sharing! ;-)
Comment Written 13-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much. Your words are very encouraging. - John
Comment from adewpearl
Congratulations on your contest win
Please don't. Ms - Please don't, Ms - comma with direct address
Excellent natural-sounding dialogue
Good descriptive detail that makes it clear why he is tempted
A good response to the prompt about polar opposites finding lust together - excellent detail of their sexual encounter.
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Congratulations on your contest win
Please don't. Ms - Please don't, Ms - comma with direct address
Excellent natural-sounding dialogue
Good descriptive detail that makes it clear why he is tempted
A good response to the prompt about polar opposites finding lust together - excellent detail of their sexual encounter.
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 13-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thanks so much, Brooke. I appreciate your comments. - John
Comment from chasdflynn
It is as old as the oldest profession in the world; work place sex. It happens all the time and most often in a boss and employee basis. I found it a good read and entertaining.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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It is as old as the oldest profession in the world; work place sex. It happens all the time and most often in a boss and employee basis. I found it a good read and entertaining.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from missy98writer
Writer,
Your erotic flash fiction story is excellenty written and tastefully erotic.
Your descriptive writing is very good.
Your dialogue is great.
John was surprised his employers hot daughter appreciated him checking her out.
The love scene is red hot.
Nice use of shaft.
I wish you good luck in the Flash Erotic contest.
I'd recommend your flash fiction story to other readers.
Missy.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Writer,
Your erotic flash fiction story is excellenty written and tastefully erotic.
Your descriptive writing is very good.
Your dialogue is great.
John was surprised his employers hot daughter appreciated him checking her out.
The love scene is red hot.
Nice use of shaft.
I wish you good luck in the Flash Erotic contest.
I'd recommend your flash fiction story to other readers.
Missy.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Missy. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the comments on the love scene.
Comment from dmt1967
Wow is all I can say I don't usually read these stories but wow that made my eyes water better than 50 shades of grey wow good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Wow is all I can say I don't usually read these stories but wow that made my eyes water better than 50 shades of grey wow good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Lol, then I'll consider the story to be successful with a review like that. Thank you so much.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I think writing stories is hard enough but, to make them believable even harder. You wrote a fine story and I wish you luck in your contest. oxox Kiwi
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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I think writing stories is hard enough but, to make them believable even harder. You wrote a fine story and I wish you luck in your contest. oxox Kiwi
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Kiwi. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from elliejean
I liked the story. The driver just had his job description revised. Extra duties. No more pay but great fringe benefits. Great work.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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I liked the story. The driver just had his job description revised. Extra duties. No more pay but great fringe benefits. Great work.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2012
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Thank you elliejean. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. Benefits are benefits. I don't think he's complaining, LOL.
Comment from EMB
Well, this was a rather hot encounter. The driver was a little on the slow side though. I wish the blonde could have told us (by telling him) what she saw in him that was so attractive because she's obviously someone who can get men easily. So why him?
Some other things I noticed:
...I'm sorry," I replied. (This comes too late to let us know this is first-person POV. Move the speech tag up to after "Please don't, Ms Graziano, I replied.)
I didn't notice when she turned away and laughed to herself. (Okay. If you didn't notice, you can't tell us, can you? Welcome to the limitations of first-person POV.)
Otherwise, great job.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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Well, this was a rather hot encounter. The driver was a little on the slow side though. I wish the blonde could have told us (by telling him) what she saw in him that was so attractive because she's obviously someone who can get men easily. So why him?
Some other things I noticed:
...I'm sorry," I replied. (This comes too late to let us know this is first-person POV. Move the speech tag up to after "Please don't, Ms Graziano, I replied.)
I didn't notice when she turned away and laughed to herself. (Okay. If you didn't notice, you can't tell us, can you? Welcome to the limitations of first-person POV.)
Otherwise, great job.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2012
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I don't know you, Edward, but I like you. If you told your students they screwed up in this manner, you must have been one hell of a terrific teacher. Thanks. When the blind contest is over,I'd like to read some of your work. - Regards.
