Comment from faragon

Excellent

This is a good, strong story line. Almost medieval in the way of thinking that all who are "touched in the head" as being possessed by the devil. I like how you portray the tough decisions a doctor in those times have to make.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2014

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

Mikey, this write is another solidly written installment that further unfolds the history and intricacies that the Church held sway in so many matters. Good character study. Well done, my friend. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2014

Comment from Sankey

Excellent

Interesting, weird bloody and intriguing my friend. A strange tail. How many times does Rastavius or whatever claim someone's illness is due to demonic possession? One suggestion...Suggestion end (of)to care in your village.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2014

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Exceptional

Looks like your are building up the characters to reflect their roles. The conversations give us an image of how they speak in that time era. I see your paragraphs are broken down to be reader friendly. I concur, I always get keelhauled for making paragraphs too long. I feel these discussions are building up to an event unforseen. You got your ducks in a row, it seems. I sense you are discovering new things pertaining to becoming an all around novelist. You are developing as a writer. I see -- six monks sacrificing a goat on a stone alter, up in the mountains. Count your doubloon, Elder Cahill. Lol! do loco

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2014

I'm closing my eyes on this section and letting the story tell me what to do. I'm trying to NOT be in a big hurry like I usually am. I'm letting them finish their conversations and have their little walks etc. It took me a while to break up the dialogue. I had them giving speeches before. You just have to have them stop and tie their shoe or something. Or, hand the person they're talking to a hamburger or something. You are saying things that I am very happy to hear! I'm "elder" allright. Hahaha. Check your mail. When are you posting? Need some wacksterness. mikey

reply by ProjectBluebook on 09-Oct-2014

yep, I got my first chapter ready. I been doing some reviewing lately, trying to earn some member cent pumps. I'm taking your advice. I will promte my first chapter on the first page, so, I attract some reviewers at the get go. You got to get them in the first chapter, otherwise, it's hard to pick up newcomers when you are a few chapters down the road. I hope Maureen will like her Lucky Seven poem. Was funny how it all fell together, and you could read it every direction. I may do another Lucky Seven on something? I surprise myself most of the time. Mormons call each other , Elder. Since you was talking about priests and religion, I called you an Elder to be funny. Yep, that was my last nugget. I told Phyllis that I gave my last nugget to Sir Mikey to get a reaction. Yaw can duke it out in the alley. Lol! Later landlubber...

reply by the author on 09-Oct-2014

Yep. Have a couple Mormons in the house here. Elders. I love that I can look at some kid and say he's my Elder. Makes me feel young. I'm a Deacon. I once said that I wouldn't go to a church that would have me as a member. Hahaha!! I think we can only post the synopsis and the first three chapters for the contest. That's how they answered me anyway.

reply by ProjectBluebook on 09-Oct-2014

Welcome to the fanstory flock, Elder. Lol! Actually, i had some Mormons try to get me to join the flock and become an Elder. They made it sound good. They would set me up with one thousand acres and three women. Even the head Elder contacted me from Utah. I started thinking of three bickering nags. One is bad enough.

reply by the author on 09-Oct-2014

They're pretty aggressive. Yeah, three... whew. Too much. Don't forget your e-mail. Chapter 23 is done. Am I going to slow? This whole story was one page long in the original story...

reply by ProjectBluebook on 09-Oct-2014

Nope, your choosing quality over quantity. People will wait a long time for a Stephen King novel to be released. They remember if it is good. If you get a reputation, they will follow. I'm the procrastinator. Your the hare -- I'm the turtle. I will pick up, after I finish these three chapters. yep, I saw your new chapter. I will get to it ASAP!

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

I like the wise words being spoken between the doctors, as opposed to the men of the cloth who are seemingly evil. Well written chapter, hopefully good will prevail over evil as it must. Characters are very authentic and believable. Most enjoyable. Faye

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2014

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

What most impresses me about your time-spanning epic is your ear for dialogue. This is how people conversed back then, the lessons of master to student ringing doubly true because if it. So far, this is my favorite story within the book.

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2014

Comment from gypsycaravan

Excellent

I hope Valerius is not being too naive. I fear Leopold is out gunning for Julia. Those different people are always targets, aren't they? Great job with the writing, mikey.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2014

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

I found this one very interesting. Your research shines brightly in this one. Great work and again I look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2014

Comment from drivenbackward

Excellent

Okay. This is odd. You don't have one error in this chapter as far as I can see, so I feel useless. The pace, characterization, plot, and dialogue are all strong. Only good things to say on this one. Wish I could be of more help. Sorry!

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2014

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Michael: I like how the doctors got to witness the blood on the gown of the man of God. Why didn't he take off the garment, maybe, pride? They could tell it wasn't an animal sacrifice. The warning at the end...suspenseful.
Well written, Michael, I like your story.
flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2014