Tick Tock
Contest entry.55 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
Well I can't say I'm much into the maccarb however this was thoroughly excellent.
I love the pentameter form and you've done this piece (and the bad ass missus) a wonderful justice.
As silky smooth as the bloody dripping down my screen at the closer. Please enjoy a sixer and congrats on the win...thoroughly deserved!
Cheers P
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Well I can't say I'm much into the maccarb however this was thoroughly excellent.
I love the pentameter form and you've done this piece (and the bad ass missus) a wonderful justice.
As silky smooth as the bloody dripping down my screen at the closer. Please enjoy a sixer and congrats on the win...thoroughly deserved!
Cheers P
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Again, I thank you most deeply and sincerely for the kind and generous encouragement.
Comment from Glasstruth
This is a crime of passion, but of course in an unhealthy way. You drew me in with the reasoning as evil is always justified. The horror was slow moving which kept the excitement thrilling. Superb writing. Les
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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This is a crime of passion, but of course in an unhealthy way. You drew me in with the reasoning as evil is always justified. The horror was slow moving which kept the excitement thrilling. Superb writing. Les
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, Les! Horror is really not my thing so it took lots of discipline to get through it. Needless to say, your kind encouragement has made that journey into the dark side worthwhile for which I am truly appreciative.
Comment from rjuselius
This is truly a very deserved win dear Monica! It borders genius in horror poetry, a side I can't imagine.
Very well executed!
Thank you for sharing! Virtual six..
Blessings!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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This is truly a very deserved win dear Monica! It borders genius in horror poetry, a side I can't imagine.
Very well executed!
Thank you for sharing! Virtual six..
Blessings!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, Rebekka! It s not my thing at all so your kind and generous encouragement means more than you can possibly imagine. I am both grateful and humbled by your generous kindness.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi Mystic Angel,
It was a chilling poem. I loved it and congrats on winning the contest.
"Some darker part of me requires her death." This is a chilling line. Nice effect on the image, format as well. I really liked listening to the clock music while reading your poem. Very cryptic. Cheers.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Hi Mystic Angel,
It was a chilling poem. I loved it and congrats on winning the contest.
"Some darker part of me requires her death." This is a chilling line. Nice effect on the image, format as well. I really liked listening to the clock music while reading your poem. Very cryptic. Cheers.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, Benjamin! Horror is not at all my genre so this was a challenge for myself. I cannot tell you how happy I am you think I did a good job with it and am very grateful for your time and wonderfully encouraging feedback.
Comment from Debbie Noland
Congratulations on your win in this contest. You tell a good horror story made even more sinister by using the first-person viewpoint of the murderer.
I like the way the "time" motif permeates the piece and how those second thoughts almost derail the murder--good suspense technique there.
One of my favorite phrases/lines here: I stay the steely blade ...
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Congratulations on your win in this contest. You tell a good horror story made even more sinister by using the first-person viewpoint of the murderer.
I like the way the "time" motif permeates the piece and how those second thoughts almost derail the murder--good suspense technique there.
One of my favorite phrases/lines here: I stay the steely blade ...
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, Debbie! I was surprised as horror is not my thing - I challenged myself to do it and your kind encouragement makes the effort all the more worthwhile.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Mystic Angel...
_ Congrats on the win.
_ Easy to see why. Superb writing.
_ You depict his mood and thoughts very well.
_ Enjoyed the read---video was great.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015
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Hi, Mystic Angel...
_ Congrats on the win.
_ Easy to see why. Superb writing.
_ You depict his mood and thoughts very well.
_ Enjoyed the read---video was great.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015
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Thank you muchly, Jax! I am always shocked to win and the fact that I won with horror (which is not at all my comfort zone) is even a greater surprise. I am so happy you enjoyed my personal challenge - as that is what this was - and very grateful for the lovely words of encouragement and support.
Comment from MissMerri
An amazingly well-told story, horrible indeed, but made even more amazing by the well-written and musical lines of poetry, which are somehow a sharp contrast to the tale being told. (The ONLY word in this entire poem that I didn't enjoy was this one: *does* in the line... "Alone I sit as midnight toll does chime" seems like a filler word, the kind inexperienced poets (which you are NOT) sometimes use to keep the beat, or maintain meter requirements. How much better to think of a two syllable word to use instead of "toll" so that 'does' is not needed. "Carillons" would work, even though it has three syllables, because only one is accented. But perhaps something else would be even better.)
Well... I think I may be off the beam on this, but it always strikes me as slightly inexpert to insert a "place holder" word, and your beautifully written work seems so far above this to me. I hope I'm helpful and not obnoxious. I truly love how you write, and this poem is amazing on many levels. The descriptions are vivid and the mood so strongly carried throughout the entire piece. It is excellent writing. It is not at all surprising it was a contest winner.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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An amazingly well-told story, horrible indeed, but made even more amazing by the well-written and musical lines of poetry, which are somehow a sharp contrast to the tale being told. (The ONLY word in this entire poem that I didn't enjoy was this one: *does* in the line... "Alone I sit as midnight toll does chime" seems like a filler word, the kind inexperienced poets (which you are NOT) sometimes use to keep the beat, or maintain meter requirements. How much better to think of a two syllable word to use instead of "toll" so that 'does' is not needed. "Carillons" would work, even though it has three syllables, because only one is accented. But perhaps something else would be even better.)
Well... I think I may be off the beam on this, but it always strikes me as slightly inexpert to insert a "place holder" word, and your beautifully written work seems so far above this to me. I hope I'm helpful and not obnoxious. I truly love how you write, and this poem is amazing on many levels. The descriptions are vivid and the mood so strongly carried throughout the entire piece. It is excellent writing. It is not at all surprising it was a contest winner.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much! I would agree if it were written in contemporary intent, but I was far back in time and, to me does chime, does bring, does sing - denote the Gothic essence of the ticking clock and raven's dark locks. I often seek guidance from a favorite poet before writing as I did in this one, and while your suggestion is appreciated and fully understood - I believe I was not directed wrongly in the wording of this particular line. I am very grateful for your kind and encouraging feedback as I always learn from wonderful writers such as you.
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Okay... I stand corrected. You are not wrong if this is done intentionally. I'm sorry for mentioning it. Thank you for seeing my point, though. You are very kind.
Comment from heyjude
Mystic angel, this is definitely a good entry for the
contest of writing a horror story in a poem. Good
touch on the background and font colors and the
blood dripping at the end.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Mystic angel, this is definitely a good entry for the
contest of writing a horror story in a poem. Good
touch on the background and font colors and the
blood dripping at the end.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much! Horror is not my thing at all so I was stretching myself to do this. Your kind encouragement makes the effort more than worthwhile.
Comment from TAB_that's me
It starts with a broken heart - love gone wrong - then turns to horror. You did a great job with the horror story poem. Congrats on your win!
teresa
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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It starts with a broken heart - love gone wrong - then turns to horror. You did a great job with the horror story poem. Congrats on your win!
teresa
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Thank you, Teresa! I really appreciate your kind feedback. I just want to apologize for turning your great comments in the forum into another angry assault - my intent was pure and I promise not to EVER go in there again. I am truly grateful for your kind encouragement and feedback as it always means the world ot me.
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oh, no problem. Things change direction in the forums all the time:)
Comment from Nosha17
I am not very fond of horror, I don't normally review any, they give me nightmares. But yours was not too gory or scary and only one drop of blood! You captured the feeling of horror well in your poem with excellent rhyming. Congrats on your win. Faye
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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I am not very fond of horror, I don't normally review any, they give me nightmares. But yours was not too gory or scary and only one drop of blood! You captured the feeling of horror well in your poem with excellent rhyming. Congrats on your win. Faye
Comment Written 11-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, Faye! It's not my thing either, but one has to stretch a bit in order to really grow so I am thrilled you liked this one and truly grateful for the kind and supportive encouragement. I promise to stay in the light now that I know I can face the darkness LOL.
